Growing up in the rural panhandle area of Northwest Florida, my favorite season was summer. That’s when we’d be shipped off to stay with my cousins, Al and Randle, at their parents’ place near Grand Ridge, Florida. I fell in love with the big skies and long summer days out there. But mostly, I treasured time with Al and Randle. They were funny and joked with us constantly in a kind way that showed their humility. I used to think they were twins. They were so near in age and favored one another closely in looks.

Only a few years older than my brother and me, they were cool in a special way I’d remember for a lifetime. I also admired the special bond they had with their dad, Paul. Only today, they have a fractured relationship. They don’t speak. They still live within sight of each other on a dirt road only yards from where they grew up. However, they haven’t had any contact with each other since the death of their father 20 years ago. I learned this at a recent family reunion from Randle, who recounted the sad story of their parting.

Known far and wide, their father Paul had been a major agricultural landowner in the region for years. He’d amassed thousands of acres of farm and pasture with valuable leases on most of it. It was guaranteed to produce income for generations. He died in his sleep at the age of 90, satisfied that his sons would take over the estate and keep it productive. Instead, they sold it off piece by piece in a series of auctions and sales. Nearing the end of the liquidation, it was important to evaluate a set of leases on land they’d shared before their father’s death.

A Close Family Relationship Turned Sour

The quarrels began over the value of “sweat equity” contributed by each. And what each should receive as a fair share of the proceeds of the sale. An inexperienced mediator, known more closely to Al’s family, couldn’t have made things worse. At the outcome of negotiations, they were miles apart. They’ve stayed that way since, setting up boundaries they wouldn’t again cross. Money put an end to the cordiality that had been between their families since they were kids. Randle’s eyes misted over during his sad tale. I could tell the loss of his brother had broken his heart.

When Old Resentment Comes To The Surface

And so, remembering my visit with Randle, it was with some caution that I approached my brother recently during the settlement of our own father’s estate for clarification of the proceedings toward the distribution of his assets. He’d been made executor of the estate. Even though we’d agreed to handle it together, I knew he was uncomfortable with any input from me. I knew it would feel like supervision to him.

My brother has always had a simmering jealousy of me, after I went to college and he went to the Air Force. “I’m not as smart as you,” he would say. “I never got to go to college,” he’d complain, even though my father had been clear all his life that he’d offered the same opportunity to both of us. My brother chose the service and no more education beyond high school. He still lives in the same town. I moved on after college into graduate school and a professional life as a relationship therapist in Delray Beach, FL—500 miles away.

We’ve had a few tough phone calls on this. Despite the legal and financial advice we’d gotten from those professionals who knew my father, my brother was savoring his control over the estate and began to drag his feet over a timeline for full resolution. I can’t say we quarreled, but a few conversations weren’t comfortable. There has been some silence along the way, but I’m proud and happy to say we’ve pretty much reached the goal line with our friendship still intact. I held in my heart the memories of Al and Randle and remained determined not to make similarly disastrous mistakes. I also appreciate the helpful resources found in Marshal Rosenberg’s wonderful book Non-Violent Communication.

How To Keep The Peace In Family Relationships

While my brother never visited my Delray Beach counseling practice, I am grateful for the lessons working with him brought me, and I look forward to being a better family counselor because of it. Here are a few ideas that helped us be successful:

Start with empathy.

Being the executor isn’t easy, and your relative might be stressed or overwhelmed, especially if still grieving. It helps to acknowledge that up front. You could say something like, “I know this has been tough on everyone, and I really appreciate you stepping up to handle everything.”

Be clear but not confrontational.

Try not to make it sound like an accusation. Instead, focus on understanding where things stand and working together. For example, “I just want to make sure I understand where things are with the estate—what’s been done, what’s still pending.”

Ask questions instead of making demands.

That can help keep the tone calm and open while supporting healing. Something like, “Do you have a sense of the timeline for wrapping things up? I know it’s a big job—I just want to stay in the loop.”

If things get tense, suggest bringing in a neutral third party.

A qualified mediator could help move things along without it feeling like a personal attack. You could say, “Would you be okay with bringing someone in to help sort everything out? Just to make things smoother for both of us.”

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Not every detail is worth fighting over. If it’s not something that really affects fairness or the big picture, it might be better to let it go and focus on what matters.

Write down as much as possible.

To the extent everyone’s comfortable, try to keep some communication in writing. It helps avoid misunderstandings and gives everyone a chance to think things through before reacting.

Keep your focus on what you both care about.

At the end of the day, you’re both doing this because of someone you loved. Reminding each other of that can help. “I think Dad would’ve wanted us to get through this together and stay close. That’s important to me.”

Seek expert help when necessary.

If you or someone you love is hurting or angry over damaged family relationships, whether from inheritance or otherwise, I may be able to help you repair the relationship. Contact me.

Begin Healing Family Wounds Through Relationship Therapy in Delray Beach, FL

Family conflict can leave lasting emotional scars—but with the right support, those wounds can begin to heal. Relationship therapy offers a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore unresolved tension, improve communication, and begin rebuilding trust between family members. As a relationship therapist in Delray Beach, FL, I work with individuals and families to untangle generational patterns, address long-standing grievances, and create space for more empathy, clarity, and connection.

If you’re ready to begin the healing process, here’s how to take the next step:

• 1. Begin working through conflict with professional, compassionate guidance by scheduling a session at my Delray Beach therapy practice.
• 2. Learn tools for healthy communication, boundary setting, and emotional repair that can strengthen family bonds.
• 3. Start creating new patterns of connection that move your family toward peace, understanding, and lasting change.

Other Therapy Services I Offer In Delray Beach, Florida

If you’re working through family conflict or unresolved emotional wounds, relationship therapy in Delray Beach, FL, can offer a path toward deeper understanding, healthier communication, and meaningful change. By addressing the core issues that drive tension, therapy can help restore trust, set boundaries, and create space for healing within the family system.

Beyond relationship counseling, my Delray Beach therapy practice provides a comprehensive range of therapeutic services designed to support your mental and emotional well-being. Whether you prefer in-person or virtual sessions, I assist clients with a variety of concerns, including parenting challenges, addiction recovery, and couples issues. I also offer support for trauma, anxiety, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and other long-standing relational difficulties.

Using a customized, integrative approach, I incorporate evidence-based methods like EMDR, CBT, Gestalt, mindfulness, psychodrama, and clinical hypnosis. Additional services include grief counseling, spiritual exploration, and ADHD support. To learn more or schedule an appointment, visit my mental health blog or reach out directly.

About The Author

John Davis is a skilled therapist with a focus on marriage, family, and relationship counseling, committed to helping individuals, couples, and families navigate the complexities of connection, conflict, and emotional repair. His work in relationship therapy includes guiding clients through trust issues, emotional distance, infidelity, and persistent communication struggles. With deep expertise in child and family therapy, John recognizes how early family dynamics shape current patterns and challenges in relationships.

He uses a trauma-informed and client-centered approach, drawing from methods like EMDR, CBT, psychodrama, and mindfulness to support healing, growth, and behavioral change. John is particularly experienced in working with families facing high-conflict dynamics, helping them build stronger communication and emotional stability. As Executive Director of the Mental Health Counselors’ Association of Palm Beach and an Outstanding Community Service Award recipient, he’s a respected voice in the field. His work empowers clients to heal family wounds, reestablish trust, and foster more connected, resilient relationships.