I’ve always regarded myself as mentally tough. Not just strong, but sometimes indefatigable. I’ve been an athlete all my life and loved 10Ks, marathons, and triathlons. The rigors of those contests taught me about perseverance and a lot about self-care. Later in life, learning how to take care of myself in a professional role as a relationship therapy therapist in a thriving private practice was exponentially difficult on so many levels.

In my library, there’s a very fine book, At Personal Risk: Boundary Violations in Professional-Client Relationships, by Marilyn Peterson. In it, she describes the many boundary violations that creep into the relationship between client and therapist. Early on, I was experiencing them in real time. I’d have sleepless nights, and I’d awaken with deep self-doubt. I’d awake and find it impossible to clear my head of “sticky” thoughts from difficult sessions.

A client quits. Someone creates a drama around a late cancellation. I’d fail to “read” someone from the start, and they’d ghost me. Sometimes, I’d even find myself overly sensitive in social situations. I’d feel like I had “thin skin” and took things personally. My job was hurting my mental health. There were times when I honestly wanted to quit to preserve my sanity!

The Importance Of Client Relationship Boundaries

I was lucky to find Jo, my favorite long-time therapist. She was a strong and compassionate guide for me, and a master of self-care. I hadn’t been a therapist for long. It took a while to understand her way of keeping sane in the difficult business of psychotherapy practice. She had clear boundaries around the days she would be available for sessions and rarely deviated. She saw clients three days per week, and only in daytime hours. No nights!

Other days of her week were devoted to painting, dancing, and calligraphy, trips into the Everglades backcountry, and spending time with her husband, whom she adored. She was a Tai Chi expert and a master at meditation, taking yoga retreats for weeks at a time in Costa Rica. I needed a lot of help back then, and when she was unavailable, I often resented it. I couldn’t understand how someone could be so selfish. It would be a long time before I would come to see the importance of guarding and nourishing one’s mental health, especially in the mental health business. Years later, I would find myself with some of the same practices and boundaries with a keen awareness of the heaviness of this profession.

Protecting Your Mental Health at Work

Gaining my license as a mental health counselor had been on my bucket list all my life. I had a wonderful mentor in Jo, along with another great therapist, Hanna, who guided my internship. She even passed along the clients I’d worked with under her into my fledgling private practice. I was excited from the start.
Long hours weren’t a problem for me. I relished the privilege of seeing clients and built a great office and a large following.

My reviews were good, and I carried a sense of pride in each new consultative interview. It felt good to be chosen and trusted with mental health, especially when I began working with couples and families. I struggled in my early years with many issues and found that my experience gave me compassion and an ability to listen from a very deep place. But deep listening comes with a price. It’s often called “compassion fatigue”.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is what happens when you’ve been giving too much of yourself for too long, especially in roles where you’re constantly caring for others who are suffering. It’s like your emotional tank starts running on empty. People in healthcare, therapy, caregiving, teaching, or even animal rescue work often feel it—basically anyone who regularly deals with others in distress.

You might start feeling emotionally drained, irritable, or just kind of numb. Things that used to move you or feel meaningful might not register the same way anymore. Sleep gets harder, you might start avoiding situations or people, and it can feel like your patience or empathy has dried up. Sometimes people start questioning whether what they’re doing even matters.

It’s different from burnout, which is more about stress and overwork. Compassion fatigue is more emotional—it comes from that deep place where you’re constantly taking in other people’s pain and struggling to recover from it. It tends to creep in when there’s not enough rest, support, or time to recharge between helping others. When you’re always “on,” your brain and heart don’t get a break.

Compassion fatigue sets in when one spends their days across a small, quiet room, in intimate conversation with struggling clients and offering support to them. Another mentor once said to me, “You have to care, or you’ll be no good”. Looking back, I now know I often cared too much and did far too little to care for myself.

Can Helping Professionals Recover From Compassion Fatigue?

I’ve encountered many professionals in my Delray Beach therapy practice who are beyond burnout and ailing from something like “compassion fatigue”. Medical doctors, plastic surgeons, periodontists, and dentists. Even schoolteachers and cops. All of us doing too much with too little self-care. Here are a few fine points on how to get your life back on track:

Take Breaks When Necessary

Recovering from compassion fatigue isn’t about a change in behavior; it’s about doing less and giving yourself more frequent “mental health” breaks. It usually starts with realizing that something’s off. Maybe you feel emotionally flat, drained, or just kind of disconnected from the work or people you used to care deeply about. Maybe listening to your spouse is difficult, and you are often impatient with small things. That’s not failure, it’s a signal. Your mind and body are telling you they’re overloaded.

Start by being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. A lot of people try to push through or pretend they’re fine, but that only makes things worse. Just naming what’s going on—like, “I think I’m burned out from caring too much for too long”—can take some of the pressure off.

Then, step back if you can. That might mean taking time off or just giving yourself permission to stop being available to everyone all the time. It’s okay to rest. You’re not a machine. Quiet periods during the day to lean back in a chair and just breathe for 15 minutes can bring back clarity and patience. Stopping at the local lake or park on the way home and reclining in the air-conditioned car for 10 minutes can recharge us.

Do Things You Love

We must also reconnect with things that give us life. We all have go-tos. They could be simple things—walking outside, spending time with people who don’t drain you, listening to music, or watching something that makes you laugh. The idea is to feel like yourself again, even in small ways. Playing Mozart on my piano restores me. Meditation, especially an extended retreat for a few days, can make the world look different to me and more open, with less to worry about.

Rely on Relationship Support

Talking to someone helps too. That might be a Delray therapist, a friend, or someone who understands the kind of work or caregiving you’ve been doing. Especially if you’re a therapist or social worker, get a supervisor if you don’t have one, and a therapist you can see regularly. You need a place where you can vent, cry, or just be quiet without feeling judged. This may be especially hard for some men who’ve grown up being taught to be “tough”. I include myself here.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is huge. If you’re someone who always says yes or feels guilty stepping away, that must shift. Learning to care without taking on every bit of someone else’s pain is a skill—and it’s one that keeps you from burning out long-term. One valuable book on doing too much, and saying yes all the time, is No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. It’s an often-humorous take on our tendency to give in too frequently to the requests and demands of others.

Your Mental Health Matters Too—Final Thoughts From a Relationship Therapist in Delray Beach

Recovery takes time. It’s okay if you don’t feel like your old self right away. You’re not broken—you’ve just been carrying too much. Be patient, be kind to yourself, and try to let go of the guilt for needing rest. Everyone needs that sometimes, especially people who care as deeply about the people they serve.

If you’re feeling at risk of compromising your mental health by overdoing it, text or call me at 561-231-8030, or email me at jdlmhc@gmail.com. Sometimes just a few sessions can bring waves of relief.

Achieve a Healthy Relationship With Your Career Through Relationship Therapy in Delray Beach, FL

If your job is draining your energy, affecting your self-esteem, or spilling into your personal life, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck. Relationship therapy can help you explore how work-related stress is impacting your emotional well-being and your relationships, both inside and outside the office. At my Delray Beach therapy clinic, I offer a compassionate, structured space to help you reconnect with your needs, set healthy boundaries, and protect your peace.

Here’s how to begin reclaiming your mental and emotional balance:

• 1. Talk through what you’re experiencing in a supportive, nonjudgmental setting when you schedule a consultation.
• 2. Learn to recognize toxic workplace dynamics and create healthy boundaries with guidance from a relationship therapist in Delray Beach, FL.
• 3. Start creating healthier boundaries between work and life—so you can show up for yourself, not just your job.

Other Therapy Services I Provide In Delray Beach, Florida

If your relationship with your job is affecting your emotional health, therapy can help you explore the deeper impact work has on your identity, boundaries, and sense of self-worth. Through relationship therapy, you can begin to untangle burnout, overwhelm, or toxic workplace dynamics—and learn to build a healthier, more sustainable connection to your professional life. Alongside therapy for work-related stress and relational issues, my Delray Beach, FL therapy practice offers a broad spectrum of mental health services designed to support your overall well-being.

I offer both in-person and virtual sessions to meet your needs, and work with clients navigating challenges like addiction, parenting struggles, and couples counseling. I also provide treatment for trauma, narcissistic relationship dynamics (NPD), infidelity, and anxiety. My approach blends multiple evidence-based modalities, including Gestalt therapy, mindfulness practices, psychodrama, clinical hypnosis, CBT, and EMDR. Additional support is available for grief, spiritual concerns, and ADD/ADHD. Visit my counseling blog for helpfil insight and contact my office directly when you’re ready to book an appointment.

About the Author

John Davis is a trusted relationship therapist based in Delray Beach who specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate complex emotional dynamics and relationship challenges. His background in child and family therapy gives him a deep understanding of how early relational experiences shape adult behaviors and patterns—insight that is especially valuable in relationship-focused work. Whether clients are dealing with toxic friendships, workplace tension, or long-standing family conflict, John offers practical tools and emotional support to foster healthier, more respectful connections.

Known for his trauma-informed, integrative approach, John incorporates modalities such as EMDR, CBT, psychodrama, and mindfulness into his sessions. He guides clients in identifying red flags, setting clear boundaries, and breaking out of unhealthy cycles. As Executive Director of the Mental Health Counselor’s Association of Palm Beach and recipient of the Outstanding Community Service Award, John is widely respected in his field. His compassionate, client-centered work helps people move from disconnection to clarity, confidence, and lasting emotional well-being.