Many parents of younger children might chuckle, even roll their eyes at such a simple and obvious question. “Don’t all children trigger anxiety?” In anxiety therapy, I’m imagining they’d say, “Well, yes and no.” Years ago, our neighbors were raising three young girls during the time when we were raising our daughter, who was an only child. The girls became best friends and loved to hang out together as the “four musketeers”. These neighbor girls were well adjusted, and their parents worked hard to care for them. There seemed to be lots of love and attention in their home, and they did things together often. And, observing the stress that these multiple young children created for this family made us grateful for the simplicity of our own lives.

Comparatively, raising a single child seemed easy for us. But our friends often laughed at the suggestion that their “multiples” (children) caused undue stress. They’d planned for all of them, and loved each one, enjoying the family they’d created. Both parents were happy and accomplished people with plenty of resources to support their family. It’s important to distinguish some differences here. Multiple children don’t usually create excessive anxiety. They more often activate or amplify existing anxiety, especially if someone already tends toward perfectionism, hyper-responsibility, a trauma history, or difficulty resting or asking for help. We’ll describe in more detail how this happens below.

What Actually Triggers Anxiety? One Mother’s Experience

In this blog, I’ll talk about the difficulty experienced by a local mom who came to my Delray Beach anxiety therapy practice last year. We’ll also discuss factors that made it difficult for her to be a “happy mom”. I’ll then describe some of her early childhood history that factored into her dissatisfaction. I’m sharing this vignette from my practice to illustrate what I call “teachable dynamics”.

It’s important to note that the names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy, and descriptions of some characters may contain composites of other clients. Of course, some details may have been omitted or embellished to make a point. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or situations, past or present, is purely coincidental.

How Unhealthy Coping Methods Can Make Anxiety Worse

June was a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom who came to see me after her doctor referred her for anxiety therapy. He had noticed an increase in her resting pulse and detected an uptick in her blood pressure over recent months. She reported she’d also gained considerable weight and reported frequent “day-drinking” episodes where she’d join other moms at the playground to share their children.

More frequently, she’d find herself drinking excessive amounts of white wine with her friends and trying to “nap it off” after lunch. Mainly, when she occasionally used a babysitter for her children, who were two and four years old. Now and then, she’d blacked out completely when the babysitter took over. After one of these episodes, she awakened in full-blown panic, fearing for the safety of her children.

She sought her doctor’s help because she feared becoming an alcoholic. But more importantly, her relationships with both her children were at a very low level. She’d been yelling at them in the grocery store and after day care. She’d gotten to a place where enjoying them was impossible.

What Impact Does Upbringing Have on Adult Anxiety?

June had grown up as an only child in a military family. Her father had been a non-commissioned officer with a penchant for shouting in their home and a serious drinking problem. Bouts of rage and verbal abuse were common. He kept himself rigorously fit well into his sixties, despite the drinking, and insisted on extreme levels of cleanliness and order around their home. June reported feeling never good enough in his presence. She’d begun biting her nails in elementary school, which became a source of hostility and frustration to her father.

June’s father died of a heart attack only a few months after retirement. June’s grief spilled over during our session when she told this story of losing her father so suddenly after never really having had a close relationship with him. This condition is often referred to as complicated grief. People with complicated grief may experience a constant yearning or longing for the person who died, preoccupation with the loss, difficulty accepting the death, and a sense that life has lost its meaning. Emotions can include deep sadness, guilt, anger, bitterness, or emotional numbness. Some people avoid reminders of the loss, while others feel unable to stop revisiting memories. June reported a feeling of being “stuck in time.” It was as if she couldn’t move on with her own life without her father.

Perfectionism, Trauma, and Neglect During Childhood

Her mother had been a partner in a law firm and travelled often. On the rare occasions when she was home, she demonstrated an extreme perfectionism about her own appearance and frequently criticized June for hers. Her mother was also obsessive about cleanliness and order, much like June’s father. She frequently insulted her daughter over her personal appearance and the way she kept her room. She frequently placed June with babysitters when work and travel became more important. June wept openly during our session when she talked about her constant feelings of loneliness during childhood.

June’s childhood was painfully difficult and often traumatic due to the neglect she experienced and the lack of supportive, loving relationships. The events that surrounded her could be called “complex trauma”. Since these ongoing traumatic events often occurred with caregivers (including periods of no caregiving), they likely interfered with June’s ability to form secure attachments, first to her husband and then to her children. Often, a person’s healthy physical and mental development relies on this primary source of safety and stability.

Out of this difficult upbringing, June had developed self-limiting beliefs that were affecting her and her family, chief among them the belief that she was never good enough. Because of these beliefs, she’d grown up continually anxious. Adding marriage and family to her life helped some early on, but eventually became their own sources of stress and more anxiety. She’d come to resent the burden of caring for her husband and their children over and above a backdrop of feeling like she was never cared for herself.

Can Parents Overcome Anxiety Caused By Their Own Childhood?

June quit drinking shortly after we first met. She began attending meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. It was during these meetings that her awareness grew about the traumatic nature of her upbringing. She began to feel less alone and began making more sober friends with children with whom she could spend time. As connections with new friends began to flourish, June felt less insecure, and her anxieties diminished considerably.

Our therapy work continued as well. During our sessions, June was able to understand some of her avoidant reactions, especially with socializing. With Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, June was able to examine and confront some of her self-limiting beliefs drawn from her childhood. She learned techniques to calm and relax her body during stressful times and later took classes in Yoga. During the summer, she joined her husband in a series of classes called Parent Effectiveness Training. The goal was to improve her communication with her children and her husband.

If you are a parent struggling with anxiety, it can be empowering to ask for help, especially if you are noticing signs that your children are unhappy or performing poorly. An anxiety therapist can help you create new paths to satisfying adult health and bring fresh success to difficult relationships. It’s a wise investment and may take time, but the payoff can be priceless.

I would love to help. Call or text me at 561-213-8030 or email me at jdlmhc@gmail.com for a consultation.

Can a Child Trigger Anxiety? Explore Root Causes and Solutions Through Anxiety Therapy in Delray Beach

If your child’s behavior leaves you feeling overwhelmed, reactive, or constantly on edge, anxiety therapy can help you regain a sense of calm and control. Many parents seek therapy not because their anxiety is being activated in ways that feel hard to manage alone. When anxiety goes unaddressed, it can show up as irritability, emotional shutdown, or patterns of overreaction in parenting moments that matter most.

Anxiety therapy provides a steady, supportive space to understand why certain situations with your child trigger intense responses and how your nervous system is reacting under stress. At my counseling practice in Delray Beach, FL, I help parents replace anxiety-driven reactions with practical tools that promote emotional regulation, self-compassion, and more grounded responses—so parenting feels less exhausting and more intentional.

Here’s how to get the support you need:

• 1. Identify the underlying anxiety patterns that may be activated by your child’s behavior. Schedule a consultation to begin.
• 2. Learn evidence-based strategies to calm anxious thoughts and regulate emotional responses with an experienced anxiety therapist in Delray Beach, FL.
• 3. Build greater emotional resilience and confidence as a parent. Discover how to stay present and connected, even when stress or anxiety arises.

Other Services With John Davis Counseling in Delray Beach, FL

Anxiety therapy can help you better understand your emotional responses and feel steadier when parenting moments become overwhelming. With the right support, many parents learn how to regulate anxiety more effectively. They can then respond with greater intention and feel more confident in their role. Even during stressful or triggering situations.

Because anxiety is rarely a standalone experience, it often overlaps with other concerns. These can include chronic stress, emotional burnout, unresolved trauma, or major life transitions such as parenthood. For this reason, I offer a range of counseling services that support not only anxiety relief, but your overall emotional well-being. In addition to anxiety therapy, my Delray Beach practice provides trauma-informed therapy, relationship therapy, couples counseling, grief and loss support, addiction treatment, and care for individuals navigating ADHD/ADD, impulse-control challenges, spiritual concerns, and narcissistic personality dynamics.

Each client’s treatment is carefully tailored to their specific needs, parenting stressors, and personal history. I use an integrative, evidence-based approach that may include CBT, EMDR, Gestalt therapy, mindfulness-based techniques, psychodrama, or clinical hypnosis—selected to help calm the nervous system and build lasting emotional regulation skills.

My goal is to help you strengthen resilience, expand healthy coping strategies, and restore a greater sense of calm in your daily life and parenting experience. I invite you to explore my blog for additional mental health resources or reach out directly to my Delray Beach office to schedule a consultation.

About the Author

John Davis, LMHC, is an experienced anxiety therapist in Delray Beach, FL, who helps individuals, parents, and families navigate anxiety—especially when it shows up in everyday parenting moments and emotionally charged interactions. With a strong foundation in child and family therapy, John understands how anxiety develops across the lifespan and can influence emotional regulation, decision-making, and self-worth. He uses a trauma-informed, integrative approach that may include evidence-based methods to help clients identify root causes, shift patterns of fear and avoidance, and build practical skills for calm and clarity. John also serves as Executive Director of the Mental Health Counselors’ Association of Palm Beach, has received the Outstanding Community Service Award, and is featured as an expert therapist on StayMarriedFlorida.com. Through his practice, he supports clients in creating steadier, more grounded lives—one session and one skill at a time.