Responses to trauma are learned. Therefore, they can be unlearned with proper therapy. With support and guidance in a safe and compassionate environment, new responses are possible, and learning them can bring relief and satisfaction. That’s what I offer during anxiety therapy at my Delray Beach practice. In this blog, I’ll first describe the relationship between unhealed trauma and anxiety. I’ll then share a vignette from my practice to illustrate. In the story that follows, the names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or situations, past or present, is purely coincidental.

How is Trauma Defined?

Trauma can bring about complex sets of reactions in bodies and minds and last a lifetime. To keep things simple, my definition is as follows: Trauma is any event (or series of events) that overwhelms our capacity to cope and leaves behind negative impressions that are stored in the body and in memory. These negative impressions may later show up as a host of difficulties, including high anxiety. The most important learned response from trauma involves the activation of our “alarm” system. The amygdala, in the center of our brains, is responsible for lightning-fast decisions about safety/danger. When overwhelmed, we become dysregulated, failing in our ability to quickly lower our emotional set point and stay on high alert. It can begin to feel as if we are in imminent danger at all times.

Dysregulation of the central nervous system by traumatic events causes our brain to shift into high gear and become overly sensitive to cues that may have once been ordinary. We may startle easily. We become “hyper-vigilant,” on the watch for danger, perceived or otherwise. Trauma symptoms are not character flaws. These reactions result from nervous-system adaptations — the body learned how to survive, but never fully learned how to turn the alarm off.

What Therapy is Best For Unhealed Trauma?

During anxiety therapy here at John Davis Counseling, we adhere to a rigorously validated framework called NARM which stands for NeuroAffective Relational Model, and in my opinion, it’s THE most effective modern therapy for healing developmental and relational trauma — the kind of trauma that comes from early emotional wounds, attachment injuries, neglect, or chronic mis-attunement rather than single “big” events.

The NARM framework is especially helpful when anxiety, shame, chronic self-doubt, emotional numbness, or relationship struggles remain stubborn and don’t improve much over time. Instead of focusing on re-living traumatic memories, we work in the present moment, helping you understand how your nervous system adapted to survive emotionally unsafe environments — and how those survival patterns are still shaping your life now.

We gently explore how early relationships shaped your sense of safety and identity. We explore and discover how your nervous system learned strategies like people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional withdrawal, or hyper-independence. Then, we look for blocked emotions (grief, anger, fear, longing) and ways that they contribute to anxiety and tension. Most importantly, we work on reversing disconnection from needs and desires, which keeps the nervous system stuck.

Rather than revisiting painful memories directly, we help you become aware of what’s happening in your body now. We explore relational patterns and how those patterns formed as intelligent adaptations to unmet needs. With this new framework and information, new choices become clear and new reactions to adversity become available to us.

How Can Unhealed Trauma Lead to Anxiety?

Pete was anxious most of his life, especially as a never-married single adult still dating on the internet at the age of 60. Ever struggling with high blood pressure and a nightly drinking habit, it was as if Pete imagined himself 25 years old, and still a “player.” He roamed the bars when alone and made “dates” on a variety of apps with women he’d sleep with a few times and then discard. He often employed prostitutes. There’s a pop psychology term that sums up much of Pete’s dilemma: Peter Pan Syndrome. Like the Disney character who never grew up, Pete never seemed to embrace adulthood. He lived his life in avoidance of responsibility and long-term commitment.

During months of anxiety therapy, Pete revealed the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his father. A tough Chicago cop, he’d shown disdain for his fair-haired, sensitive son. Often, he would shame him in front of family and friends. Nasty and critical, he’d often punch and hit Pete when he was barely five years old to “toughen him up.” This physical and emotional abuse continued until his father’s death, and Pete took with him loud internal messages about never being good enough. Early in our meetings, I’d find myself reminding him to refrain from his own harsh self-talk, a carryover from a long life under the shadow of an abusive father. These early sessions were punctuated by his ever-present urgency and near panic, as anxiety overwhelmed him at times as he related his unhappiness. He wrung his hands and tapped his feet constantly.

The Fear of Losing Control and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Together, we explored the formula Pete had created around money. His dad had been dirt poor. Scarcity reigned in the family. It was only in his 30s that Pete would take steps to pull away, get a college education, and make sales his avenue to wealth. Money was the one thing he felt he could control. He couldn’t control the savage, punitive messages inside his head that emanated from the unhealed trauma of childhood. And when in the presence of women, he faltered.

Drinking was his first defense. Getting drunk and high, he was relieved from burdensome authenticity. He could play the part of “ladies’ man”. But a more sinister and powerful adaptation had come into play for Pete: paying for companionship, either with prostitutes for immediate sex or always fully paying when he had dates, with the expectation that he was owed thereafter. This dynamic of control had plagued him all his adult life. He was terrified of real relationships where he’d relinquish control while getting to know someone.

The basis of anxiety is fear of loss of control. We fear that if we experience real fear, we won’t be able to survive. Pete feared women more than anything. He could only barely tolerate letting his guard down and making friendships first. He’d grown accustomed to controlling women, having sex quickly, and then leaving them behind. He remained astonished that he was so easily misunderstood and was frequently “ghosted” by those he’d dated only a few times. After a heart attack and a long hospital stay, he came to see me. It was arduous work for him, and for a period, he came twice per week.

From Unhealed Trauma and Anxiety to Calm and Clarity

Pete improved slowly. Lifelong habits are hard to break. He finally quit drinking and began working out. He took time away from dating and retained a sponsor at his local AA meeting, who began to teach him the importance of knowing one’s character flaws and bad habits before trying to have romantic relationships. Pete had important breakthroughs when he became painfully aware of the women he’d hurt and mistreated. When the enormity of these injustices became real to him, he wept.

In therapy, we continued to explore his unhealed trauma and the many “thinking/feeling” traps he’d encountered in a family of alcoholism and poverty. He’d grown up with a hugely distorted view of “normal”. One of my favorite books to give to alcoholic clients is An Adult Child’s Guide to ‘Normal’ by John and Linda Friel. It’s a frank discussion, and a learning tool for those who’ve grown up in alcoholic families.

Explore the Benefits of Working With an Anxiety Therapist in Delray Beach

If you or someone you love is struggling with unhealed trauma and the anxiety that follows, it can be empowering to ask for help. Especially if alcohol, drug abuse, or sex addiction is present. Working with a trauma and anxiety therapist can create new paths to satisfying adult health and bring fresh success to difficult relationships. It’s a wise investment and may take time, but the payoff can be priceless.

I would love to help. Call or text me at 561-213-8030 or email me at jdlmhc@gmail.com for a consultation.

Is Unhealed Trauma Causing Your Anxiety? Discover a Path Toward Healing Through Anxiety Therapy in Delray Beach, FL

If anxiety feels constant, overwhelming, or hard to explain, unhealed trauma may be playing a larger role than you realize. Anxiety therapy offers a supportive, structured space to explore the root causes of your symptoms. It can help you understand how past experiences are affecting your nervous system. And eventually, begin healing in a way that feels safe and manageable. At my Delray Beach, FL counseling practice, I help clients move beyond symptom management. Together, we address the deeper emotional wounds that keep anxiety stuck in place.

Here’s how you can begin reclaiming calm and emotional stability:

• 1. Explore how unhealed trauma may be fueling your anxiety in a confidential, judgment-free space. Schedule a consultation to take the first step.
• 2. Learn practical tools to regulate your nervous system, reduce anxious reactions, and feel more grounded. All with guidance from an experienced anxiety therapist in Delray Beach.
• 3. Begin building lasting emotional resilience, self-trust, and relief—so anxiety no longer controls your daily life.

Other Services John Davis Counseling Provides in Delray Beach, Florida

Unhealed trauma often keeps anxiety locked in the body, showing up as constant worry, panic, hypervigilance, or emotional exhaustion. Through anxiety therapy, you can begin to safely process past experiences, calm your nervous system, and develop a deeper sense of stability, confidence, and emotional control.

Because anxiety linked to trauma rarely stands alone, my Delray Beach counseling practice offers a broad spectrum of therapeutic services to support healing on multiple levels. Alongside anxiety-focused therapy, I provide trauma therapy, relationship therapy, couples counseling, addiction treatment, grief and loss support, and therapy for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). I also work with individuals navigating ADHD/ADD, impulse-control challenges, and spiritual or existential concerns.

Every client receives a customized, trauma-informed approach designed around their specific history and goals. Depending on your needs, therapy may include EMDR, CBT, Gestalt therapy, mindfulness-based practices, psychodrama, or clinical hypnosis. My goal is to help you build lasting emotional resilience, reduce anxiety at its source, and restore a sense of calm, safety, and balance in your everyday life. For additional insight, I invite you to explore my blog or reach out directly to schedule a consultation.

About the Author

John Davis, LMHC, is a trusted therapist in Delray Beach. He has extensive experience helping individuals heal from unhealed trauma that often drives chronic anxiety and emotional distress. Using a trauma-informed approach that integrates EMDR, CBT, psychodrama, and mindfulness, John helps clients understand how past experiences continue to affect their nervous system, relationships, and sense of safety. With a strong foundation in child and family therapy, he recognizes how early emotional wounds shape adult behavior, anxiety patterns, and coping strategies. As Executive Director of the Mental Health Counselors’ Association of Palm Beach, a recipient of the Outstanding Community Service Award, and an expert marriage counselor featured on StayMarriedFlorida.com, the Florida community recognizes John for his clinical insight and leadership. His work supports clients in breaking trauma-driven cycles, reducing anxiety at its root, and restoring emotional balance, clarity, and lasting resilience.