Anxiety is a natural human response to uncertainty or the perception of danger or threat. It arises from natural cues delivered through our amygdala, an almond-shaped organ in the center of our brain. It’s the origin of our instincts for “flight, fight, or freeze” that seek to protect us when we sense danger. A certain amount of anxiety is normal. We are, after all, sensing animals alert to the danger of being attacked or hurt in some way for thousands of years. For healthy people, this subtle kind of fear sensation rests in the background. It helps us to process stimuli without intrusive thoughts and excessive reactivity.

Imagine a tiger walking through a forest. Observe the deliberate way she walks, carefully noticing movement, sounds, and smells all around. She knows it is unwise to panic or overreact to stimuli. Always keeping her attention in check, ready to defend or to seek prey. Meditators know this powerful sense of presence from the practice of training their minds to relax and stay open and observant. We’ll talk about this later.

Excess anxiety may first occur as sensations in the body. These can include tightness in the chest or elsewhere, increased heart rate, feeling lightheaded, sweating, and restlessness. These sensations come to us unbidden from our subconscious self-protection system. Always sensing our environment for threats, the body is constantly making its own decision as to whether a person, event, or situation is safe or not safe. I often see its effects on couples in relationship therapy.

Anxiety and Romantic Relationships: A Vignette

This type of anxiety shows up in our thinking as self-doubt. Hyper vigilance toward the opinion of others, and loss of confidence in our ability to carry out important tasks. Emotionally, it can cause us to become uneasy or on edge. It can make us irritable or easily overwhelmed, and remain constant as a strong need for reassurance or control.

To illustrate, I’ll share an anecdote from my Delray Beach relationship counseling practice. Of course, the names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy. Some of the cases mentioned are composites of those I’ve worked with in the past. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or situations, past or present, is purely coincidental.

Outside circumstances may cause anxiety in romantic relationships.

Jenny was a petite and attractive 39-year-old Filipina woman who kept her hair bound tightly in our sessions. She dressed fashionably and carried a collection of expensive designer handbags. Perched always on the front of her chair, I could see the light sheen of moisture on her hands and forehead as she talked about herself and her history and the life she had been living. Her hands stayed clasped always. Once happily married to a successful banker, Jenny had ceased working when they married. She chose instead to take on the role of homemaker in support of herself, and husband, and her husband’s younger sister, who’d come to live with them after a stint in drug rehab.

In a short time, Jenny had become like a mom and caretaker to this difficult sister and felt overwhelmed. The girl was messy. She paid no rent or expenses. Usually, she slept late and played video games late into the night. She worked only sporadically and relied on her brother’s generosity to live. Jenny’s husband, of course, was torn by his loyalty to his struggling sister. Jenny felt at the end of her patience. She wanted privacy for herself and her husband. She wanted a tidy home without mess. Eventually, she came to resent the young sister. It caused waves of marital discord as her husband felt bound to support and defend his sibling. But significantly, she’d come to me to voice her complaints. Tearfully in therapy, over months, she would recount stories around this untenable living situation.

Modern culture can influence the way we cope with anxiety.

Jenny’s voice was unusually childlike. In popular culture and on social media, the term “sexy baby voice” has taken on a life of its own. A person may use a pitch higher than the speaker’s natural voice, with a breathy, airy, or whispery quality. Sometimes speech patterns become exaggerated and intonation changes toward drawn-out syllables, unnecessarily lengthened for effect. In some cases, these voice characteristics are accompanied by a tilted head, wide eyes, or inappropriately playful expressions. Pop culture often links high-pitched or playful voices with “sexy” or “fun” female characters. Think of certain pop singers, influencers, or actresses. The “baby voice” can create a blend of innocence and seduction, which the media has long idealized. Some celebrities consciously use it to cultivate a brand identity — it makes them sound distinctive, youthful, or disarming.

Sometimes, childhood experiences are the root cause.

While controversial, the presence of such a voice can often be unintended. In Jenny’s case, I felt this was true, and soon uncovered the root cause during our anxiety and relationship therapy sessions. Jenny had grown up under the pressure of an abusive and critical mother who regularly demeaned her. Holding her daughter to an unrelenting standard of academic performance, she would ignore “A” grades only to focus on the single “C” grades and punish her daughter for “failing.” Jenny tried ceaselessly to be a “good girl” in her mother’s eyes, never succeeding. This striving urgency became the root of a relentless anxiety that permeated her life and relationships into adulthood. She was always afraid of not being good enough for anyone. It also caused Jenny to gradually and unconsciously adopt a “sexy baby” persona. This tiny voice began to serve Jenny’s unspoken emotional needs.

Once she was able to become aware of it, she reported that it actually made her feel safer or in control in situations that felt intimidating. In the absence of healthy boundaries, she had never been able to avoid the harsh criticism of her mother. Too often, she withered under its assault and still acted that way under stress. Jenny’s strategy of “shrinking” helped her avoid confrontation (“If I sound small and non-threatening, maybe this won’t escalate”). It also produced in Jenny a constant presence of anxiety and fear of always failing in relationships. She could complain in therapy about all the ways her household was driving her crazy, but not at home, especially to her husband, whom she’d come to regard as somehow “above” her in stature. This was before she began to use her real voice, first in therapy with me, and then at home, where it counted.

Calming therapeutic exercises can ease anxiety over time.

Mindfulness exercises like deep, rhythmic breathing, guided imagery, self-hypnosis, and meditation became tools that Jenny would love as she gradually shed her “small” self-image and began speaking up. She became aware of moments when she was surrendering her power and pushed past them to speak up for her needs.

While at first this change caused discomfort for her husband, he gradually began to know her better and worked with her to understand her changing experiences. He became more aware during her periods of heightened anxiety and recognized her reluctance to speak. Their relationship flourished over time, and it became a pleasure to work with them in couples counseling sessions. I heard from them several months ago as they checked in, saying goodbye. He placed his sister in a psychiatric treatment center near his mother’s home and took a job on the West Coast with his company to be closer to Jenny’s family, a wish she’d had since they’d come to Florida.

Words of Encouragement From an Anxiety and Relationship Therapist in Delray Beach

If you or someone you love is struggling with anxiety that is affecting relationships, it can be empowering to ask for help from a compassionate relationship therapist in Delray Beach. Becoming aware of early childhood influences, especially traumatic ones, can create a path to new adult awareness and bring fresh success to difficult relationships. Therapy can be a wise investment and may take time, but the payoff can be priceless.

I would love to help. Call or text me at 561-213-8030 or email me at jdlmhc@gmail.com for a consultation.

Find Calm and Connection Through Relationship Therapy in Delray Beach, FL

When anxiety starts to affect your relationship, it can quietly create tension, distance, and confusion between partners. Left unaddressed, it may lead to patterns of overthinking, avoidance, or emotional disconnection. Relationship therapy offers a safe, structured space to identify how anxiety impacts your connection. It teaches you healthier ways to communicate, trust, and support each other. At my Delray Beach counseling practice, I work with couples and individuals to replace anxious reactions with understanding, compassion, and emotional clarity.

Here’s how to begin rebuilding balance and connection in your relationship:

• 1. Explore how anxiety may be influencing your relationship in a safe, judgment-free space. Schedule a consultation to begin.
• 2. Learn strategies to manage anxious thoughts and communicate more effectively with help from an experienced relationship therapist in Delray Beach, FL.
• 3. Strengthen your emotional connection and create a calmer, more secure foundation for your relationship.

Other Therapy Services WIth John Davis in Delray Beach, Florida

Anxiety can shape far more than your romantic life. It can influence how you relate to family, navigate friendships, manage work stress, and show up in everyday interactions. Through relationship therapy, I help clients uncover the deeper patterns behind their anxiety and develop tools that bring more steadiness, clearer communication, and a renewed sense of confidence in all their relationships.

Beyond couples and relationship counseling, my downtown Delray Beach practice offers a comprehensive range of therapeutic services to support your overall mental and emotional health. I meet with clients both in person and online, helping them work through challenges such as parenting tension, addiction recovery, and conflict within couples. I also provide treatment for trauma, infidelity, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and the many ways anxiety can disrupt daily functioning.

Each person receives a customized, integrative treatment plan that may include CBT, EMDR, Gestalt therapy, mindfulness work, psychodrama, or clinical hypnosis, depending on their needs. Additional services include grief support, spiritual counseling, and ADHD/ADD guidance. To explore more resources or schedule an appointment, please visit my therapy blog or reach out to my office directly.

About the Author

John Davis, LMHC, is a trusted relationship therapist in Delray Beach, FL, known for helping couples and individuals understand how anxiety influences communication, emotional closeness, and long-term connection. With a strong background in child and family therapy, he brings deep insight into how early experiences and learned patterns can carry into adult relationships—often shaping the way people handle conflict, vulnerability, and emotional expression.

John uses a trauma-informed, integrative approach, drawing from EMDR, CBT, mindfulness, and psychodrama to help clients manage anxiety-driven reactions and develop healthier relational habits. His extensive experience in relationship therapy allows him to support couples who struggle with recurring tension, emotional withdrawal, or misunderstandings rooted in anxiety.

As the Executive Director of the Mental Health Counselors’ Association of Palm Beach and a recipient of the Outstanding Community Service Award, John is highly respected in his field. His work focuses on helping clients ease the impact of anxiety on their relationships while building stronger, calmer, and more connected partnerships. He is also featured as an expert marriage counselor on StayMarriedFlorida.com for his exemplary work with couples and individuals.