Key Takeaways
ADHD and anxiety can leave us feeling distracted, restless, forgetful, and overwhelmed, but the reasons behind these struggles aren’t always the same. ADHD often involves longstanding difficulties with attention, organization, and impulse control, while anxiety can make it hard to focus because our minds are occupied with worry and fear. Sometimes, we’re dealing with both. Understanding when symptoms began and how they affect our daily lives can help us recognize the differences. With the right support, including anxiety therapy when appropriate, we can begin to manage these challenges, regain confidence, and feel more comfortable in our own skin.
Why Can ADHD and Anxiety Be So Difficult to Tell Apart?
Feeling tense and not understanding why? Having feelings of nervousness in unexpected and unpredictable moments? Forgetting things left and right? You may be expressing a complex set of sensations, thoughts, and feelings sometimes identified as ADHD or perhaps generalized anxiety.
Can You Have Both ADHD and Anxiety?
ADHD and generalized anxiety can occur separately or together, making it difficult to know which condition may be responsible for what we’re feeling. Mood changes can complicate things further. Bipolar disorder, for example, involves distinct episodes of depression and unusually elevated or irritable mood, accompanied by changes in energy and activity. These episodes are different from the everyday emotional ups and downs we all experience. Because some symptoms overlap, sorting out the differences isn’t always easy.
In my anxiety therapy practice in Delray Beach, I often see combinations of these as they have overlapping features and can be hard to separate when occurring at the same time. Precise diagnosis can be helpful, but often difficult. The DSM, the therapist’s “big book” of diagnosing, contains descriptions of all these. “Ruling out” and zeroing in is tricky. What is more important is getting relief and restoring our sense of stable mood and calm demeanor. After some work with me in anxiety therapy, many of my clients report feeling much better, gaining a gradual return to being “comfortable in their own skin”. Improved relationships emerge and stabilize. Addictions become more manageable. Even in the midst of busy lives, noise, trouble, and hard work, peace returns.
How Can You Tell the Difference Between ADHD and Anxiety?
ADHD and anxiety can look surprisingly similar. Both can leave us restless, distracted, forgetful, and struggling to get through the day. But what’s behind these difficulties may be quite different. With ADHD, problems with attention, organization, and impulse control generally begin in childhood, even if they’re not recognized until adulthood. We may lose track of appointments, misplace things, or struggle to finish tasks, not necessarily because we’re worried, but because managing attention and everyday responsibilities is difficult.
Anxiety, on the other hand, often makes it hard to concentrate because our minds are busy anticipating trouble. We replay conversations, imagine what might go wrong, and find ourselves constantly on edge. Our attention gets pulled away by worry rather than the difficulties with attention regulation commonly associated with ADHD. Of course, it’s not always that simple. Someone can have both ADHD and anxiety, and years of struggling with ADHD can contribute to stress and self-doubt. Looking at when symptoms began, what seems to trigger them, and how they affect daily life can help a qualified professional sort out what’s happening. The goal isn’t simply to put a label on our struggles, but to find the right kind of help.
How Can ADHD and Anxiety Affect Your Relationships? A Client’s Story
A brief vignette illustrates some of this, but first a disclaimer: Any client examples or clinical situations discussed in this blog have been altered, combined, or fictionalized to protect confidentiality. Names, identifying details, and circumstances are changed, and no example is intended to identify any current or former client.
Living With ADHD and Everyday Challenges
Jill came to my practice to consult with me about an impending divorce. She and her husband had built a marriage and a family, but it was hard work, and lately things had simply fallen apart. Fights, angry tirades, frustration, and tears. And much of this was experienced in the presence of their two teen children. Frightening. She ordered him to move out when he became impatient and abusive.
Jill had struggled with ADHD since early on in school. Her grades were always sub-par, and she’d had a difficult time graduating high school. Her attention wandered like the wind. When she finally grounded herself as an aesthetician, practicing with a local dermatologist, she was able to better manage her life, in spite of her chaotic thoughts. She deployed a number of effective strategies to manage her symptoms, such as checklists and keeping to routines for placement of valued objects like keys.
She’d begun practicing meditation and yoga, gradually building a sense of calm around herself that provided stability and clarity. Always a dancer, she used it as a regular workout and gained a sense of balance from the music and movement. She’d sampled a number of medications without much success, including a disastrous experiment with Adderall. She reported feeling adrift for much of her life, never quite fitting in, socially awkward, and judged severely by her parents for her ADHD that none of them understood.
How Stress and Emotional Abuse Can Make Anxiety Worse
It was late in her marriage that her anxiety began to spike beyond her control, and she experienced occasional panic attacks that left her bedridden. Early on, her ADHD had been under control. Even as the stress of multiple children came, and she focused on being a mom, she was able to ground herself and manage. But her husband grew increasingly impatient and frequently angry with her about her lack of focus and her sometimes “messy” ways. He took things personally and blamed her for wrecking his schedule and expectations. He told her she wasn’t good enough as a wife and mom. As he continually failed to understand and empathize with her attention and focus problems, he became violent and abusive.
Always the subtle narcissist, he began escalating the volume and frequency of his outbursts, constantly criticizing Jill, especially about her parenting style and techniques. His ugly mistreatment of his wife included gaslighting, questioning her judgment and her memory of events such as arguments and how they happened and escalated. During one of our interviews that included her daughter, now 18, Jill adamantly refuted a direct report by her daughter of her father’s abuse of her mom. “He choked you in front of us, Mom!” she said in tears, “I can’t believe you don’t remember this!”
Under these difficult emotional conditions, Jill’s state of mind had deteriorated. She had come to question her own judgment, damaged by his criticism and exploitation. Panic attacks had increased in frequency, and she reported feeling constantly anxious and on edge, even when not in his presence.
What Can Help When ADHD and Anxiety Occur Together?
Finding Support and Managing Symptoms
During our work together, I was able to refer Jill to a special colleague, an attorney with many years of experience with narcissistic destructive marriages like this one. Consulting with his team, she was able to validate her experiences and gradually pull back from the marriage, finally settling on a divorce. In a difficult twist, Jill soon gained full custody of her children with the full cooperation of her ex-husband.
Jill’s anxiety symptoms began to abate. The panic attacks that had plagued her occurred less frequently, and she gradually began to feel more grounded and regulated. Working out regularly along with yoga and dancing helped her to feel more at home in her body. Her sleep improved, and she no longer had the kind of intrusive thoughts that characterized her life before divorce. Through a referral to a psychiatrist colleague, Jill found relief with a drug known as Concerta. While not for everyone, this special time-release medication helped her become more relaxed and able to focus throughout the day. She reported a gradual shift in her moods and became happier with clients at work and with her children at home.
How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Help With Anxiety
Jill took her time in anxiety therapy with me. We met regularly for the next year. Long after she parted ways with her abusive husband, she still reported periods of self-doubt and lack of confidence. I see this often in patients who have been abused by a narcissistic, destructive spouse. She often second-guessed her decisions and fell into rumination that kept her feeling stuck. It took some time for her to track her thoughts and feelings and challenge some of the hesitation and negativity that had come from years of living with an abuser. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped her re-examine her thoughts, test them against reality, and gently push back against her learned patterns of helpless behavior. As she changed the nature of her thinking, she got stronger.
When Should You Seek Professional Help for ADHD or Anxiety?
If you or someone you love is suffering from anxiety, regardless of its roots, you might benefit from professional help. Struggling with the kinds of difficulty described here, especially with narcissistic abuse as a backdrop, can damage a person’s confidence and self-esteem. It can be liberating and empowering to ask for help. An anxiety therapist can help you create new paths to satisfying adult health and bring fresh success to difficult relationships. It’s a wise investment and may take time, but the payoff can be priceless.
I would love to help. Call or text me at 561-213-8030 or email me at jdlmhc@gmail.com for a consultation.
Struggling With ADHD or Anxiety? Find Support Through Anxiety Therapy in Delray Beach
Are you tired of feeling distracted, overwhelmed, or constantly on edge without knowing why? Anxiety therapy can help you make sense of what you’re experiencing, understand how worry and attention difficulties may be connected, and find practical ways to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
ADHD and anxiety can share many symptoms, but they don’t always have the same roots. At my counseling practice in Delray Beach, FL, I help clients explore the challenges affecting their concentration, emotions, and relationships. Together, we can look at patterns that may have developed over time, recognize where anxiety may be making existing difficulties worse, and work toward a calmer, more manageable daily life. When appropriate, I can also help you explore whether a more specialized ADHD evaluation may be beneficial.
Here’s how you can begin moving toward greater clarity and confidence:
- Schedule a consultation and share what’s been troubling you. You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong before reaching out. We’ll start by discussing your concerns, what you’ve been experiencing, and how counseling may help.
- Work with an experienced anxiety therapist in Delray Beach, FL. In a private, supportive setting, we’ll explore how stress, past experiences, and everyday demands may be affecting you.
- Begin building a more balanced and satisfying life. As you gain insight and practice new skills, you may find it easier to manage worry, navigate relationships, and approach daily responsibilities with greater patience and confidence.
You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. Contact my office to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward understanding what’s happening and finding the support you need.
Additional Counseling Services at John Davis Counseling in Delray Beach, FL
Living with chronic anxiety can be exhausting, especially when you’re also struggling to focus, stay organized, or make sense of your emotions. Through anxiety therapy, we can begin to untangle what’s happening, develop healthier ways to manage worry, and restore some of the calm and confidence that may have been missing from everyday life.
Of course, anxiety and ADHD don’t always exist in isolation. Relationship conflicts, painful experiences, family pressures, and major life changes can add to the difficulties we’re already facing. At my Delray Beach counseling practice, I help clients work through these challenges with services that include ADD/ADHD counseling, trauma therapy, therapy for men, therapy for women, individual relationship therapy, and couples counseling. I also provide support for chronic impulsivity, mood concerns, parenting difficulties, and major life transitions.
There’s no single approach that works for everyone. Depending on your experiences and what you’re hoping to change, our work may draw from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR, Gestalt therapy, mindfulness, psychodrama, or clinical hypnosis. We’ll explore which methods make sense for your situation, whether that means learning to manage anxious thoughts, understanding the impact of past experiences, or developing more effective ways to respond when life becomes overwhelming.
Sometimes, even small changes in how we think, communicate, and handle daily frustrations can make a real difference. If you’re wondering whether ADHD, anxiety, or a combination of both may be affecting your life, I encourage you to read my client reviews, explore my mental health blog, or contact my office to discuss how counseling may help.
About the Author
John Davis, LMHC, is an experienced anxiety therapist in Delray Beach, FL, who works with individuals, couples, and families navigating anxiety, attention difficulties, and other emotional challenges. With a background in child and family therapy, John understands how symptoms of ADHD and anxiety can overlap, sometimes making it difficult to recognize what’s behind persistent worry, restlessness, poor concentration, or emotional overwhelm. Through anxiety therapy, he helps clients explore these patterns, understand how their experiences may be affecting their daily lives, and develop practical strategies for managing stress and improving emotional well-being.
John’s counseling approach is trauma-informed and tailored to each person’s circumstances, drawing from methods such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR, Gestalt therapy, mindfulness, psychodrama, and clinical hypnosis when appropriate. He also serves as Executive Director of the Mental Health Counselors’ Association of Palm Beach, has received the Outstanding Community Service Award, and is featured as an expert therapist on StayMarriedFlorida.com. Whether clients are struggling with anxiety alone or alongside ADHD-related challenges, John’s goal is to help them build confidence, strengthen coping skills, and find greater stability in their relationships and everyday lives.
