“I made a new friend at school,” my daughter reports as we reconnect on the way to school this morning.  “She’s a little different in a good kind of way.  She’s interesting and I like her a lot, but many girls are often making fun of her behind her back because she’s the ‘new girl’ in class.  I wish they’d stop.”  It seems we always have these engaging talks when I’ve been away for a few days.  My heart is full as we trade thoughts and navigate the rush hour traffic.

“Tell me more about her,” I say, keeping my therapist hat at home. “She’s cool and funny and not afraid to ask questions in our classes.  She’s a little loud and awkward when she talks, and I think she may have some problems, but that doesn’t bother me.  We speculate together about possible learning difficulties her friend may have had, how she might feel shy and how the class might treat her as even more of an outsider because of all this.  We talk about the times we’re living in and how our national public discourse has eroded into hostile, racist and xenophobic messages that are so present in the media.  We talk about leadership and divisiveness.  We also talk about what Jesus would do.

My daughter’s had strong feelings about attending a Christian school.  It is a place of clear moral values.  There’s a lot to learn at 16, especially about standing up for your beliefs, about service and about treating others with dignity and respect.  Jesus admonished his followers to treat kindly “the least of these among us”, and about our calling to lift up the disadvantaged, such as the the poor, the sick or the mentally and physically disabled.  What does that look like at the high school lunch table?

These are crazy times.  I often think that the “loudest megaphones” have been grabbed by some petty and selfish people, many of whom guide our country and make it’s laws. These are days of “bully pulpit”.  But the loudest voices aren’t always right.  Our voices of compassion, reason and mercy count more than ever.  Let’s raise those voices, and teach our children to do the same.

If you are working hard to raise a family of values and decency, I applaud and support you.  Parenting in the midst of a culture like ours at present takes effort and discipline and humility, and no small amount of prayer.  If you struggle with family strife of any kind and if I can ever help to you, call on me.

John Davis, LMHC is a licensed professional psychotherapist in private practice in Delray Beach, Florida.  He can be contacted at [email protected].