Addiction is a window into someone’s disordered soul. It tells us about their pain, even when the addict thinks they are hiding.
Equal parts Compassion and Confrontation are helpful in sorting out the person from the disorder. Good people are capable of exhibiting extraordinarily bad behavior, due to addiction.
Developmental delay occurs when the person fails to accomplish the central tasks related to developmental passages (like middle school socialization, puberty, adult sexuality/intimacy, healthy inter-dependence on family of origin, emergence from the shelter of high school or college, traction in the job sphere).
A 30 year old might truly “feel” like a 14 year old emotionally if she was molested by her father during that time.
Addictive substances and processes can be viewed as coping mechanisms used by the addict to ease the pain of developmental failure. (ADD/ADHD, traumatic experiences, especially death of a parent or sibling, being rape, or committing a sex offense)
Addiction is about appetite. Disordered appetites spring from the emotional “vandalism” that occurs with developmental failiure/delay. Sorting out emotional hunger is key.
Addictions are “transferrable because of this. Smoking, drinking, eating, gambling, hyper-sexuality, drugging….all are colors of the same rainbow….hunger.