Failure to Launch: Addiction and Young Adults

February 8th, 2017
Therapy & Counseling — John Davis, Delray Beach
  • Addiction is a window into someone’s disordered soul. It tells us about their pain, even when the addict thinks they are hiding.
  • Equal parts Compassion and Confrontation are helpful in sorting out the person from the disorder. Good people are capable of exhibiting extraordinarily bad behavior, due to addiction.
  • Developmental delay occurs when the person fails to accomplish the central tasks related to developmental passages (like middle school socialization, puberty, adult sexuality/intimacy, healthy inter-dependence on family of origin, emergence from the shelter of high school or college, traction in the job sphere).
  • A 30 year old might truly “feel” like a 14 year old emotionally if she was molested by her father during that time.
  • Addictive substances and processes can be viewed as coping mechanisms used by the addict to ease the pain of developmental failure. (ADD/ADHD, traumatic experiences, especially death of a parent or sibling, being rape, or committing a sex offense)
  • Addiction is about appetite. Disordered appetites spring from the emotional “vandalism” that occurs with developmental failiure/delay.   Sorting out emotional hunger is key.
  • Addictions are “transferrable because of this. Smoking, drinking, eating, gambling, hyper-sexuality, drugging….all are colors of the same rainbow….hunger.

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