Delray Beach has become a special place for people seeking to recover from addiction.  Treatment options are numerous and varied, and support systems like meeting places and halfway houses are plentiful. The climate is sunny and kind and the cost of living is fairly low compared to other cities.  Stop by any Starbuck’s in the area at the right time, and you’re bound to overhear some pretty rich conversations about life’s meaning, the value of struggle and the importance of one’s spiritual journey.  It’s the sound of people connecting which is one of the most important facets of any road to recovery:  joining the tribe and letting ourselves be known intimately by others.  It’s exciting to be in the midst of such a community of seekers.  Many of them stop by my Lake Ida counseling practice to strengthen their resolve to stay free of addiction and pointed toward better life choices.  I”m often asked if addiction is forever.  Great question!  I believe the answer is not absolute.  My experience tells me that it depends on who’s asking, and critically, what the kind of “mind-set” that the questioner holds.  In some tribes, there is the “mind-set” that addiction is a “disease” like diabetes and can only be managed, not cured.  In other tribes, there is the “mind-set” that addiction is a “moral problem”, meaning that if only the troubled person were a “better” person or tried harder, they would no longer be a burden to others with their problem.  If you ask Chris Prentiss, the California based author of a number of books, including The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure, he would maintain that with the right efforts to heal and strengthen our bodies, find underlying causes and commit to a life of consciousness, we can release the iron grip of addiction.  Graduates of Passages, his Malibu retreat, report that, although difficult, the process can produce a life free of “urges” and “triggers” with a freedom to pursue better living, often without involvement in 12 Step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous.  On the other hand, ask Dr. Philip Flores, the prominent Georgia State University clinical psychologist the same questions and he is likely point to research suggesting that addiction is much more related to how we connect with others, or refuse to, and our capacity to fully experience emotions, especially difficult ones like grief, anger and fear.  In his book “Addiction as an Attachment Disorder”, Flores points to the underestimated value of 12 Step meetings.  He offers that these groups work against the very deep-seated reasons one becomes addicted in the first place.  Attending meetings, sharing our confusion and struggle,  joining in the community of like minded brothers and sisters, we begin, albeit counter-intuitively,  to share ourselves and let others know us.  Flores maintains that for many reasons unknown to us on a conscious level, addiction is both a cause and effect of the isolation and loneliness so pervasive in the life of an addict.  In such states of deprivation, (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?) we mistake the feelings created by pills or alcohol as the “real thing” when what we actually are hungry for is connection.  Deep, meaningful and lasting connection to other people.  Ironically, the thing we fear most, intimacy, is the cure for what ails us.

Namaste,
John